


Visitation Rights

by bluebells



Category: Devil May Cry, Hellboy (Movies), Hellboy - All Media Types
Genre: Community: 1sentencefic, Crossover Pairings, M/M, Post-DMC2, Post-Film
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebells/pseuds/bluebells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein 'Devil Never Cry' and the B.P.R.D. are competitors in the same industry, Dante meets Myers by chance and decides to keep meeting him, to the ongoing amusement of everyone but Myers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Visitation Rights

**Author's Note:**

> A re-post from [my journal](http://users.livejournal.com/_bluebells/3102.html). Obscene abuse of English grammar littered through 3,500 words. This takes place after the _Hellboy_ film, traverses before and after _Devil May Cry 2_ \-- there are no spoilers for the game, luckily for me, not much happens in that game.
> 
> These sentences were inspired by the DMC/Hellboy crossover story [_House Call_](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1882264/1/) by [](http://croik.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://croik.livejournal.com/)**croik**!

**1\. Walking**

Myers noticed Liz and Hellboy had recently taken to leisurely walks outside the Bureau, and it was on one such occasion when they had abandoned him to the dust, books, and the late Professor’s scratchy records, that he met Dante; Dante, the brash and coy bounty hunter in red who was very possibly not all human and left a lasting impression on Myers that boiled down to “avoid”, so that the next time Liz and Hellboy went walking, he invited himself along.

**2\. Waltz**

Dante’s jukebox had seen better days and when it clicked over to ‘waltz’ the blare of guitars made Myers start; Dante rounded on him with a smile, hoisted that ornate sword over one shoulder and nodded at the strange, climbing shadows on the windows as he asked, “Are you much of a dancer, John?”

**3\. Wishes**

Myers’ hands are soaked in blood, he’s starting to notice the slightest jitter in his stomach, and he wishes Dante would come with him to the Bureau where they have medics – but he stops because people with gaping holes in their chest shouldn’t be laughing as hard as Dante is.

**4\. Wonder**

“He’s crazy, isn’t he?” Myers asks one day, when Liz asks how Dante’s been treating him, because unlike Hellboy, Dante doesn’t have _them_ , a library, and free pizza delivery and that makes him a lonely, cranky man; Liz sees the look on his face and immediately understands: “Myers, Dante bled all over me once, too – he thought it was romantic, but Red beat the notion out of his head,” she hesitates, “I’ll ask Red to make a house call.”

**5\. Worry**

Myers is pacing a hole in the rug because only moments ago Hellboy took off without leave (again) shouting something about “protecting the kid”, Liz has been smiling at the Gabriel-smiting-Lucifer statue for far too long, and then Myers hears, “They’re _devils_ , don’t worry, Agent Myers”; Myers looks at the tank in alarm and Abe seems to smile back at him before he gestures at his waiting books expectantly.

**6\. Whimsy**

Hellboy interrupts the acting bureau director again (another Fed reminiscent of Manning named “Torrens”), showing how little he cares for what the man has to say and repeating for the umpteenth time how the regional “Devil Never Cry” branch was already trashed when he got there, so it’s not his fault he and Dante got on the evening news – Myers has no idea why he’s been summoned since nobody has even glanced at him; as Hellboy and the director continue their shouting match, Myers imagines the sort of devil Dante could be and idly wonders where his horns are.

**7\. Waste/Wasteland**

Myers can’t remember exactly what he did to piss Dante off, but he’s on his back in an alley somewhere and Dante is snarling with a tongue uninclined to human speech, his skin growing dark and coarse and he seems a full head taller, but it could just be the effect of those wicked-looking antlers, and when Myers meets his eye, he sees only fire and waste before Dante springs – landing beyond on the prowling rat demon Myers hadn’t even noticed.

**8\. Whiskey and Rum**

When it comes to side drinks, Liz drinks vodka and orange juice, Hellboy likes his whiskey straight up with the occasional side of rum and/or milk; Abe indulges himself with chilled spring water and, right now, Myers would take all of the above and more if it would let him forget the last few hours with Dante.

**9\. War**

“Sources say the destruction and unrest that has persisted in this neighbourhood for the past two weeks is the work of rival gangs clashing over territory; residents along the block even claim the avenger of urban legend, Hellboy himself, has been sighted in the fray and authorities are beginning to fear the involvement of local cults,” the young, bright-eyed reporter babbled on excitedly as everyone stared down the table at Hellboy and the second devil-in-resident the Bureau had seen too much of lately; their disinterest was obvious and when Myers saw Director Torrens’ face begin to flush he stepped in without thinking.

**10\. Weddings**

For once, Dante wasn’t smirking, and Myers didn’t notice he had paused the interrogation and opted to stare at his subject’s mouth; but Dante noticed and he smiled, saying, “Once I’m out, you come work for me; I’ll let you pick the curtains for the new place and everything.”

**11\. Birthday**

The day Dante finally gave Myers and the Bureau some peace was the day said agent found Dante kneeling by the freeway, sword in the ground and his forehead on the hilt, and if Myers hadn’t known better he might have thought Dante was praying; “It’s my birthday,” Dante later explained, stared away at nothing and Myers saw something quite like grief in his hard, blue gaze.

**12\. Blessing**

Myers doesn’t know why he thinks of Dante when he sees Hellboy and Liz smile and lean into each other, he doesn’t know if Dante’s intrusion into his life is a blessing or a test of mental endurance, he isn’t even sure he’s unhappy about it, but he is _very_ confident that he needs a nice girl to share coffee with – now.

**13\. Bias**

It’s supposedly general knowledge that El Dante hates working in teams, but if teamwork means staying out of his way, Myers doesn’t understand why said devil has made every effort over the past fortnight to have Myers cross – and trip on – his path.

**14\. Burning**

It’s the middle of the night when Myers jolts awake in a sweat, the blood roaring in his ears and it’s another two hours before he can close his eyes – in the afternoon, his face is still burning and all Liz can get out of him is “Dante” and “hard wall”; Liz looks to Abe, who blinks innocently (damn psychic), and Myers is horrified when he realises he just wants to go home and straight back to bed.

**15\. Breathing**

The third time Dante knocks Myers on his back he’s roughly pulled to his feet and asked how the hell ‘they’ taught him to defend without breathing; Myers steps up, playing to the devil’s ego and lands Dante square on his head the moment he attempts something flash.

**16\. Breaking**

Myers doesn’t realise how closely the Bureau keeps tabs until one morning they break his routine, reassign his duties and even his place of work; Hellboy and Liz are dumbstruck when Myers’ things are packed away for him, their shared expression silently asking, ‘What the hell did you do, John?’

**17\. Belief**

“John, it’s not what I believe, it’s what I know,” Liz argues when they cross paths in the upper corridor, she gives Myers that narrowed, intent look which he purposely ignores, “I just want _you_ to know that it’s okay,” and she smiles then, “well, it’s okay with _me_ – and don’t worry, we’ll rescue you from Accounting because us freaks can do that.”

**18\. Balloon**

Myers realises the rumour mill has greatly exaggerated matters when he enters his office Friday morning and is nearly smothered by the great cloud of balloons weighed down to his desk, bearing suspicious pronouncements such as, “Congratulations on your Engagement!”, though he smiles when he sees the hand-scrawled message on a silver helium piece bound to his chair: “Dante Must Die”, and in smaller writing beneath, “(We miss you!)”

**19\. Balcony**

“Oh, Romeo, beware of balconies,” Hellboy croons in falsetto when Myers sneaks into the library on their next poker night, steals a pancake from Hellboy’s plate, and refuses to dignify him with a response even when Hellboy gesticulates with his fork and gets syrup on the deck.

**20\. Bane**

Myers doesn’t believe there is anything that can unsettle Dante until someone mentions the name “Vergil”; knowing, sagely nods are exchanged and Myers, to his discredit, determines to ask Dante about it the next time they meet.

**21\. Quiet**

Myers is still at his desk at three in the morning and he finally – _finally_ – has some peace and he thinks nothing can enhance the moment until he feels coarse, familiar fingers thread his hair, smells the heady scent of leather and steel, and he releases the sigh he’s been holding in all week.

**22\. Quirks**

On their first (unofficial) mission together, Myers learns Dante will never climb stairs he can vault in a single bound, will attack any suspicious looking object, falls ominously mute when forced to unsheathe Alastor, and would much, much rather Myers wasn’t there; teamwork… sure.

**23\. Question**

The day Myers decides to ask Dante about the man named Vergil, Dante surprises him with a question about the scar on his chin and elbow, then the one on his back and thigh; Myers entirely forgets Vergil in his resolve to find out how Dante discovered those.

**24\. Quarrel**

Liz knows a friendly outing was a good idea when Myers and Dante start arguing about what pizza to order – what makes a _real_ pizza – and she throws the thumbs-up to Hellboy on the rooftop across the road.

**25\. Quitting**

At five p.m. sharp Dante breezes into Myers’ office, despite the new anti-Dante-specific security measures handed down from higher up that week, pronouncing, “John, it’s quitting –“ John shoots him a pointed look as he passes, already packed away for the day and Dante’s pleased astonishment is clear, “—time.”

**26\. Jump**

For a man of his size, Hellboy can still leap farther than any human, so he isn’t happy when Dante performs his double-vault in mid-air that carries him twice the distance, to a fire escape eight storeys up; Myers can hear his obnoxious laugh and smiles despite himself at Hellboy’s annoyed dismissals.

**27\. Jester**

Hellboy is never as proud of the people around him as he is on Christmas Eve when Myers and Liz send Dante _sulking_ to a corner after he mistakes them for jesters, accuses them of crimes against humanity, and Abe waxes lyrical of the distinction between elves and jesters (“bells, bells, bells!”).

**28\. Jousting**

Myers likes being useful, so he listened in class when they taught him to fire a gun and defeat blondes with sledgehammers (and with both hands bound), but he must have missed the training on “Intervening in the Demon’s Joust” because he steps between two men and their swords (where the hell did Red get that?), and wakes up in the infirmary a day later to the sight of Abe blinking at him owlishly and Myers knows something is very wrong.

**29\. Jewel**

It’s been three days since Dante disappeared and Myers reclines on his moped in the middle of the park, counting jewels in the night sky and picking out the satellites among them; he holds a large cup of coffee to his chest and doesn’t notice Liz until she comes up beside him with a refill and a small smile.

**30\. Just**

“Two months… huh… I just got used to him being around,” Myers admits the night Hellboy finds him slumped against the coffee machine, eating butterscotch straight from the jar; Hellboy pokes him hard in the cheek – with his stone hand – and demands a coffee blend he saw once on a menu knowing Myers knows little of fancy brewing, but will comply because _it’s his job_ , and it should keep him occupied for at least the next ten minutes.

**31\. Smirk**

Hellboy knew he made a mistake bringing Myers against their latest game when, upon victory, he turned to gloat and Myers looked at Hellboy like he had totalled his moped – the big red man had had enough.

**32\. Sorrow**

Hellboy has had enough of his liaison, so Liz assumes the duty to commiserate with Myers over trolleys of French fries, ketchup and nothing else while Abe bemoans their feasting in the library.

**33\. Stupidity**

Three pairs of eyes bore down on Myers as he finished his last mug of freshly ground Brazillian blend as slowly as he could, since someone _had_ noticed the amount of coffee he was inhaling and after today the B.P.R.D.’s three superheroes had promised he would never see another coffee bean until he could shine his own shoes without sighing.

**34\. Serenade**

Myers has loved his walkman since it first entered his hands, but the two of them needed some space for only the second time in his life when he noticed, with irritation, most songs had begun resonating on an uncomfortable level; Myers wasn’t a bitter man by nature, though at the end of each song he had found a new reason to dislike Dante.

**35\. Sarcasm**

No one is more exasperated by Myers’ recent lacklustre performance than Director Torrens (except perhaps Hellboy) who calls Myers to his office and graciously offers to transfer him if he doesn’t start showing signs of lucidity around the Bureau and stop impersonating a scarecrow on field missions – he could still revoke his decision to be afraid of Hellboy and pull Myers back into the office – or maybe Myers just needs someone to sing him to sleep at night, but Torrens doesn’t think the quarterly budget can afford to hire someone for that harrowing task so Myers has twenty-four hours to get himself together because there is only _one_ bonafide hell spawn allowed in this base and his name is _not_ “Dante”.

**36\. Sordid**

When Dante was still around nobody was quite sure how he kept getting in and jumping Myers in the hallway; most of the time he wanted information and some of the time he just wanted to ensure a particular bruise at the base of Myers’ jaw below his ear never healed.

**37\. Soliloquy**

Dante wasn’t the most reliable, refined, punctual or even likable person, and maybe he did have an arsenal to take on the entire Bureau, was arrogant enough to flaunt it and had a bad side that made Hellboy look like a faerie queen at his worst – but Myers knew, at heart, that Dante couldn’t be a bad guy since he loved to banter, but he never monologued.

**38\. Sojourn**

They have a lot of memorable firsts: first encounter, first comfortable moment of peace, the first time Myers landed Dante on his ass, but Myers will never forget the first time he allowed himself to be drawn back to Dante’s apartment (after he was kidnapped for dinner) and tried his hand at the entrancing violet guitar resting by Dante’s bed; Dante changed the ice pack on his electrical burns every half hour, snapped at Myers when he attempted to do it himself and thus, Myers learned a) just because one of Dante’s items isn’t stuck with a dagger does not mean it’s approachable, and b) the devil is very endearing in the uncharacteristic state of panic.

**39\. Share**

Though Myers doesn’t know how Dante’s file found its way to his desk, he debates for all of three seconds before he starts leafing through and comes to a page bearing an image of Dante, hair slicked back with the name “Vergil” beside it; he stares for a long time at the bold label “DECEASED”.

**40\. Solitary**

Hellboy and Dante both like to think they are lone wolves doing the hero thing and while Hellboy is insubordinate, he is hardly given the proper opportunity to be lonely with an entire Bureau to fund and aggravate him; conversely, Dante was orphaned without a government and professor to adopt him, and though he’s no less efficient for it in the hunt, Myers suspects Dante didn’t truly want to wander alone – not all the time – when he ducked in for a kiss and grinned at the feat, or convinced “John” in that deep, rolling voice to stay the night because he needed someone to take a look at the jukebox, keep him from rolling off the far end of the bed, and promised to bear the brunt of Big Red’s tantrum for both of them in the morning.

**41\. Nowhere**

Myers stakes out the high school’s second floor staircase, listening to Hellboy reminisce golden oldies over the P.A. as he plays principal, but Myers is only aware that it’s two in the morning, he’s cold and harbouring serious doubts on their intel regarding the target’s aural sensitivity (if Red’s sermon on the holy pancake doesn’t send the target tumbling from the rafters Myers doesn’t want to witness the effects of his amplified baritone); he reacts when he hears the click of pincers and the explosion of gunfire, his chest tightens painfully at the creature’s deep, bass howl and only two shots remain in his 9mm when it levels at his new company – Mr. Tall, Pale and Silver-Haired Extravagance in his deep, red coat, with an over-sized sword and large pair of firearms that glimmer in the moonlight over the twitching cadaver – who’s looking at him very unhappily: “John, your idea of ‘welcome back’ needs some work, look’t this – through my coat, and – the hell you going?!”

**42\. Neutral**

Abe Sapien did not appreciate having his eggs withheld from him until he divulged all Dante’s points of entry; as the Director had argued “he’s a psychic and would know these things”, but Abe was also a man who refused to move even when pressed ‘for the good of the Bureau’ because, at the end of the day, the matter was _not_ the Bureau’s, nor was it _his_ business; he was an empath, not a psychic (though if he really cared, he could easily learn what the Director asked for), and Abe rather liked Myers – who would eventually remember how much he liked Dante visiting (Myers snuck Abe those treats he so loved anyway) and thus, would no longer suffer the compulsion to eat in the library – in front of Abe.

**43\. Nuance**

It had been an actual mission with a _paying_ customer; though, when Dante mentioned it had been ‘almost tough’ Myers didn’t think anything of it until he noticed Dante was pacing his office instead of lounging as was custom and gesturing with his non-sword arm, so Myers pushed him into the chair with the order to remove his coat.

**44\. Near**

Depending on the day, Myers’s favourite novel travels between his night stand and office desk; the copy had travelled with him wherever he lived so he couldn’t understand how he recently misplaced it until one afternoon he happened upon the unlikely sight of Dante with his nose in a book – _his_ book – and apparently it was a consensual handover, although Myers doesn’t recall the conversation.

**45\. Natural**

Dante didn’t expect streamers and cake upon his return, though he would have liked some of that free pizza, but he did anticipate at least one person being glad to see him; when that proved a grievous misconception, Dante reflected it was a good thing he still made a mean cup of coffee.

**46\. Horizon**

Living underground in the Bureau sometimes felt like living in a dorm: he would miss the trees, the cars, and watching the sun rise after swimming his laps in the early morning – but from Dante’s apartment window he could enjoy all these things.

**47\. Valiant**

Dante was the closest example of invulnerability they had (though it didn’t make him brave, only cocky), so nobody was impressed when he and Hellboy stumbled over each other to deal with that month’s behemoth in the next room that was a good three storeys tall and breathing acid, but when Myers asked Liz to reset his shoulder she didn’t expect him to charge in after them; hence, she and Abe were obliged to follow.

**48\. Virtuous**

Sturdy, swift, daring and arrogant – Dante was many things, but virtuous or sensible was not among them, yet he still jumped down from the pool table in a club full of strippers, and was straight out the door when he heard Myers was in the district.

**49\. Victory**

Myers had wondered how far Dante was willing to carry this penance act since he hadn’t made a valid pass at Myers in the three weeks since his return, so he was secretly glad he only had to ask three times before Dante was finally loosening the buttons of his shirt.

**50\. Defeat**

He never thought he would be the one waving Dante off, complaining it was too early (no matter he could already feel the sun on his back, but he couldn’t move and that was the end of that) – though if his Uncle Thad had told him how ordinary the morning after with a devil could be… well, Myers might have dragged him to confession right after he stopped guffawing – and he does contemplate where he and Dante now stand with each other, and if that’s a rat he hears skittering in the ceiling of Dante’s new apartment – but, in the end, he decides such answers can wait until after he consumes that attractive mug of coffee the devil uses to finally drag him from bed.


End file.
